David had six sons while they lived in Hebron - all by six different wives.
Abner, in the meanwhile, won the hearts of much of Saul's House.
While Saul was alive, Saul had a live-in girlfriend named Rizpah. After Saul's death, Abner began seeing her. King Ishbosheth, Saul's son, didn't like that and told Abner so. Abner was offended and basically told Ishbosheth that he was ungrateful toward him, and because of that he was going to ally himself with David and give David everything God had already promised David.
Abner sent messengers to David, promising to work for David as his diplomat and talk them into a peaceful union of Israel under David as King. David said he would be happy to ally himself with Abner, providing Abner would bring him Saul's daughter (his first wife). David sent a messenger to Ishbosheth to send him Michal, his wife.
Michal had been given to another man to wife when David ran from Saul. So, when Ishbosheth sent for her, he followed her, weeping and begging to keep her. Abner finally sent him away.
In the meanwhile, Abner approached the Tribe of Benjamin and diplomatically talked them into allying with David as their king. David and his men made a great feast for Abner and his men when they arrived in Hebron to talk with David. After the feast, Abner took his leave to finish the job he had promised he would do for David.
At this time, Joab was battling other troops for David. When he brought home the spoils, someone told him of Abner's visit and how Abner had left peacefully. This angered Joab. He told David, "Are you nuts? Don't you realize he is up to no good and is spying on you to do you harm?" Then, he went behind David's back and sent for Abner.
Abner returned to meet Joab outside the gates of Hebron, where Joab killed him.
When David heard about it, he was angry. He told the people that they should mourn Abner and then he mourned in front of them. He then called a fast until sundown in honor of Abner, so all the people would understand that his death was not called for by David.
When David thought about what to do about Joab, he decided to leave it alone and let God take care of it.
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The lesson I got out of all this is that it is not good to handle things for someone else, no matter how good your intentions are.
However, I would be more apt to think the way Joab thought in this situation. Abner was shady and very apt to be underhanded. But, David was a man after God's own heart, and part of the reason is that David always saw the best in people. He always gave people the benefit of the doubt. If this was a trait God loved in David, then it's easy to understand how God feels about us.
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