Happy New Year's Anniversary

Today, New Year's Eve, is my anniversary. I have been single for ONE WHOLE YEAR today. And, I have enjoyed every minute of it.

The more time passes, the harder it is for me to imagine being in a relationship. I like this too much. And, my whole year, as hard as it's sometimes been, has been WAY better than the last 5 Years. And, much better than any other year where-in I was not single.

I have learned to depend on God for every little thing, and to praise Him when He shows up and shows out, and to recognize those times...which sometimes seems like it is every day.

I have been able to focus on my career, to put all I have in it, both at work and at home, without being reprimanded or resented for it.

I haven't had to listen to someone tell me I was wasting my time, or that my dreams won't amount to anything, or that I was interfering with their own life because of it.

God will never give me away, push me away or ignore me. He is everywhere I look for Him. I feel secure in His love.

And, I am safe.

Happy New Year's!

Bringing 2014 to a Close with Gratitude and Awe

As the year 2014 comes to a close, I would like to say a quick "THANK YOU" to all of you who have made my year so wonderful.

First of all, God, who showed up and showed out when I needed Him most. He has been my Provider and my Comfort in troubled times. He has taught me to be content and to work with what I have been given to work with. And, I hope I have been a good steward. All I have is myself at this point, but God has proven to me time and again that that is all He truly requires.

My dog Milo, who gives me companionship and love on a daily basis, and reminds me that there is more than just me in this world to be concerned about.

All of you on Facebook have been my encouragement and means of ambition. Just when I think I'm sinking, someone comes along to give me a hand up. I thank God for your hands and your hearts.

The Ponder has been my source of interest from boredom, and my sole effort to keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how small the steps may be. God has seen fit to let those baby steps turn into leaps and bounds in just one year. I pray He keeps the momentum going for me.
My family, who reminds me of where I came from, and ultimately where I intend to go.

And the church, who continues to teach me (though I cannot go to my own church, I am constantly reminded that the Church is not a building or a place, but a movement of people who are the Body of Christ).

My job, who keeps me fit, and gives me a reason to wake up each day, and to rest on my days off. Without it, I would be lost.

And all my new friends. You remind me that I am not the only one who has a life, or daily struggles as well as victories to applaud. I love you all!

Thank you.

Following Jesus with Joseph's Spirit

I remember when I was 8 years old and I had started to read my first Bible from Genesis to Revelation. Being determined to do so, because my Preacher said before I make the decision to accept Christ, I should understand why I am doing it, and that I should read the whole Bible. I was determined to understand why, because since I was a pre-schooler and my Grandma had first taken me to church, and I first heard the words, "Jesus loves me", I wanted to know who He was and why He loved me so much He died for me.

So, I started reading. I read every time I got a break at school. I read after my homework, and by the bathroom light in my bedroom at night when I was supposed to be sleeping...sometimes until 2 in the morning. My preacher had warned that there was boring parts, but if we read our way through it, later those boring parts that we didn't understand would come to light and we would eventually understand it as we continued to read, over and over again.

I doubt my preacher knew how seriously an eight year old would take his words. But, I did.

I remember sitting on our big chair in the living room, reading the story of Joseph from the Bible. My mom and step-dad didn't attend church at that time. But, they didn't keep me from walking down the road two blocks away every Sunday morning.

On this day, as I read the story of Joseph, and I got to the part where Judah offered his life in the place of Benjamin, and Joseph's reaction to it, I began to cry. The story was so beautiful and so inspiring. My mother asked me why I was crying now. All I could say was, "I love the story of Joseph. You should read it."

Joseph has always been my favorite Old Testament patriarchial story. Oh how I rejoiced when he was reunited with his father...and cried some more.

I was even more determined after that to finish the Bible. And, when I walked down the aisle to get saved, I was determined to follow Jesus with the spirit of Joseph in my heart.

No man is perfect. No, not one.

My bus driver (he is a very out-spoken Christian) has been very hung up on whether God wants us to be perfect, and whether anyone who sins (regardless of Christ's sacrifice) will go to heaven if they keep sinning. He has been obsessed with this. Today we had a very in depth conversation about this all the way home. I told him that sin is inevitable. Everybody sins. No one is perfect. Yes, God wants perfection, but God also knew that perfection, for man, was pretty much unattainable, so He sent Jesus to die for our sins. He paid the price so we don't have to. He was still stuck on the "once we become Christians, we should be perfect". I corrected him, "We should STRIVE to be perfect, there is a difference. I don't think it's so much the sin that we have to worry about, as it is our reaction to our own sin." I had to leave before we could finish the conversation but he was interested.

It is impossible to be sinless. If I never sinned, I'd be proud of that. And, that is a sin. And, THAT would make me a liar, which also is a sin.