What I learned in 2015

As 2015 rolls to a close, I have begun to reflect on things that God has taught me this year. Each year it gets harder to pick out these things, as much of what I experience I already know -- I just seem to have to be taught again. LOL

I learned that Faith CAN move mountains. I started out the year trusting God to not only provide for me, but to make my situation better. I needed better opportunities, and the tools it required to accept and embrace them.

In February, I bought a car after not having one for several years. Not only did I buy a car on an already tight budget, but I was able to pay for it and the upkeep without having less than I already had. As the year wound down, I found myself with better phone, which allowed me to share more with my friends, and pay less to do it. The money saved was a blessing. I was also able to switch internet providers, which now allows for unlimited access, as well as less cost to me for having it. Another blessing. Finally, I was able to pay off a monthly bill that had been shadowing me for nearly two years. This blessing was the best. I went from hand-ups to being able to hand-out more in groceries. My insurance was lowered after several months. At work, I received a raise, and was able to work a lot of overtime. I received even more pay when I changed shifts. Today I even have money in my savings account. God is GREAT!

I learned that it is not my job to reap the harvest, but to plant the seed. I learned to invest and spend wisely.

I learned to prepare for the worst, yet hope for the best.

I learned that what I give, God gives back in abundance: emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually.

I learned that willingness is the first and most important step toward success and fulfillment.

I learned that contentment is the key to being trusted more.

I learned that people who judge you by what others think or say are tyrannical cowards who are not worth emulating or following. And, that if you find yourself on a path that is forged by them, it is best to remain slow and methodical in order to stay out of the ditch until a detour can be made.

I learned that sometimes your enemy is not your enemy, but a potential loyal friend, and an opportunity to be lifted up, as well as minister.

I learned that Family can sometimes be more unforgiving and cruel than other people in your life, but that they represent the first lessons of what forgiving others is all about.

And finally, I learned that it's when you don't feel the love that you need to show it. When you don't feel the want-to, God is still there, patiently waiting and watching what you are going to do, and expecting you to remain faithful in spite of your emotions. His grace is still sufficient.

My New Year's Resolutions for 2016

1. Try to write more.
2. Do everything in my power to help change the course of America.
3. Keep my house cleaner.
4. Make more money than I did last year, working less. (So I have more to give and I won't be to exhausted to do it).
5. Witness to more people.

That's enough. Right?

Commercials

I was thinking about the time I spend on the internet or watching Netflix lately, and the time I don't spend cleaning house. Then, I remembered something from my childhood.

My mother let me stay home alone at a young age. My stepdad's aunt and uncle lived next door. My stepdad's uncle worked with him so they would carpool to work each day. My stepdad's Aunt was a home-body. So, she kept an eye on us from next door.

She never came over, but if we were outside, she knew it. If I took a stroll in the woods behind the house (which was against the rules), mom would know about it when she got home. Or, if I rode my bike to my cousin's house two miles down the road, she'd know.

I didn't know she was watching. It wasn't until I was grown that my mom let me in on the secret. LOL. I guess it's a good thing (for her) that we never got hurt. I'm sure the secret would've been out sooner.

Anyway, as all children who are privileged to be home alone while mom was at work are, I had chores to do. My "chores" was to clean the house. That included washing dishes, cleaning my room, vacuuming and picking up the living room. Cleaning the bathrooms, making mom's bed, and washing, drying and putting away the laundry. And, occasionally, having supper ready when they got home -- or at least started.

While Mom and Benny worked, I enjoyed listing to all of her LPs and 45s. (For the younger generation: those were those giant CDs with grooves in them that we'd place on a turn table with a needle that made the "grooves" make sound...) -- oh, and the 8-track tape collection (forget it, there is no describing those, unless you know what a cassette tape is...). When I wasn't listening to music (and pretending to be a star) I was watching television. We only had three channels back then (3, 6, and 12 -- ABC, NBC and CBS). My favorite show came on at noon on channel 6, "Days of our Lives." written by McDonald Carey. "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives...." LOL.

I learned, after a few times of being chastised for not getting my chores done, that time management was a must. I had to allot myself time to clean the house. But, I didn't want to miss my soaps, or Gilligan's Island, or Good Times, or Leave it to Beaver later. I learned to welcome commercials.

Commercials would last anywhere from two to five minutes, at least every ten to fifteen minutes. That's 20 minutes of cleaning time for every hour I watched TV. That's about an hour and a half of cleaning time before mom came home. As clean as our house stayed, that was plenty of time to even do extra cleaning, like taking all the dishes out of the cabinets and organizing them every so often, and cleaning the walls...I actually did that.

Mom never thanked me. She refused to thank me for doing my job. "it's what you are supposed to do. I don't get thanks for what I do for you," she would say. But, one day, I was satisfied when my step-dad noted, "Shonda is really doing a great job cleaning lately, isn't she?" and Mom was forced to agree, without actually "thanking" me. LOL

So why do I find it so hard to clean house today? I think it's because Netflix and the internet has no commercials. (Not to mention, the challenge of being appreciated isn't there). I guess I'll have to start using a time clock.

It's an idea.

I never thought I'd ever see the day when I would say that I miss commercials.

Appreciating Healthcare Employees

As I clean bathrooms, waiting rooms, and patient rooms in the ER each day, I listen to the doctors and nurses all around me as they go about their business, caring for those who came there because they obviously could not care for themselves.

The hustle and bustle, tears, frustration, occasional laughter ... the overhead speakers calling for "Dr. Whoever" to pick up the phone, or meet someone in ER, along with faces and bodies running to and fro, updating each other about their patient's conditions so no misunderstandings in their care occur...It all reminds me of a heart-felt episode of M*A*S*H.

When they call for a clean-up job -- blood on the floor; someone puked; the bathroom stinks and needs attention; or the room is overdue for a terminal clean -- it's me that they call.

I don't mind. I stop whatever I am doing and I go do it. No one is going to get a contagious infection from their room not being clean enough on my watch. These Doctors and Nurses deserve to have the best environment for what they have to put up with, for what they accomplish, for the miracles they perform on a daily basis.

God bless our Healthcare Professionals.

They do a tough job...and they never complain.

They inspire me to do better every day.

On Friday, as I was cleaning the lobby in Day Surgery, the lady behind the desk asked me, "Excuse me, but do you have a son?"

"Yes, but neither of them live here."

I thought it was an odd question.

Then she told me about her recent trip through Nocona, TX, where she stopped to get gas and use the restroom.

My son has made my day from 400 miles away.

What a small world we live in.

Overcomer

Broken? No. I never considered myself broken. I shook my fist a lot at a world that was unfair and deceptive. But, something in me just kept saying that life is what you make it. And, it's gotta start somewhere. The buck stops here. And, so forth.

I made the Bible my guidebook, even when I wasn't following Jesus the way I should have been. I trusted that there was a God and that He knew better than I did...or even my parents did. I determined to have faith, even when I didn't believe.

I saw things with the eyes of someone of scrutiny. I kept my back to the wall, and never went into a crowded place without knowing where the door was. And, I watched. I treaded the waters lightly.

Every now and then I would jump in head first, determined to sink or swim. Sometimes I thought I would drown...other times, I found a rock to stand on. All the time, I overcame the current.

At first, I was angry. My anger started turning to bitterness. Then, I realized that the sunrise on every new day was majestic -- and that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. I had a choice to make.

Life is what it is. Sometimes you sink, sometimes you swim. But, sometimes, if you just float, you can take the time to enjoy the scenery, breathe easier, smell the fresh air.

I chose to be grateful in spite of not having all I want. I chose to accept what I was given, rather than covet what would never be mine. I chose to love, in spite of the pain; to laugh, in spite of the tears. to get up and move forward, rather than to lay there and move nowhere; to earn, rather than to demand; to show love, rather than indifference; to forgive, rather than to expect, and to experience, rather than to fear.

I look in the mirror today and I don't see a survivor, The fact that I am still there in the mirror looking back at myself tells me that the struggle was worth it, and I am an OVERCOMER.

What I've learned during my 46th year on this earth:

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October is the month of my birthday. At the end of this month, I will be a whopping 47 years old.

Every year I try to write down what I have learned through-out the year, whether I share it with others or not.

This year is no different.

Below is a list of the top 10 things I've learned this year:

1. God is more dependable than family or friends.

2. If you only give what you have, you will only get what you need.

3. Faith is the most powerful muscle in your soul.

4. I am still human.

5. God loves me and wants to use me in spite of my humanity.

6. Attitude has a lot to do with the availability of opportunity.

7. Sometimes you have to burn a bridge in order to stay faced in the right direction.

8. Sometimes you gotta give the twine some slack in order to attract the fish.

9. God is the best provider there is.

10. You can't climb the ladder of success by knocking the rungs out from under the person ahead of you.

Fighting the Terrorists from With-In

This was originally written on September 18, 2001





In light of the days events, I am very concerned with the way the news is portraying what has happened as some kind of attack that will only be prevented by Americans giving up their rights. I listened in as the FBI spoke of the "two types of terrorists' and how one of them thrives on panic with their web sites and serves to leak out information that will cause Americans to "distrust their government" etc...

It sounded like propaganda against sites like FLI, Sierra Times, WND etc. And, they were speaking of taking steps to stop "those type of terrorists".

I don't have to tell you guys that we are not terrorists. Nor should I have to explain that we don't put stuff on our site that can't be verified. I'm sure you saw the email floating around about the "interview" from the guy that supposedly got a call from an "un-named" government official who claimed that the government was involved in the attacks.

It sounded like a great story. It is newsworthy if it is true. Unfortunately, it's our word against the government without any hard evidence on the case. So, we will not be leading the nation into an uprising against the government because of it.

However, the fact that the government is negotiating ways to violate our individual rights for "Reasons of National Security" has me in an uproar. We should be asking questions such as "For how long?" and "When do we get our rights back?" and "With the sacrifice of individual freedom now, can we really say we are free?"

Our job as the alternative media is to get the public to ask those questions, while being sensible and calm in the face of the danger against our American way of life. We are not going to do this by yelling and screaming--and we are not going to do this by making threats. As media, we need all of our sources, even those within the government.

I still would like for my readers to focus on the news in your own communities as well, to report wrong-doings as always. (If it ain't Constitutional, it ain't right, even if it's done "For the Children") and to turn them in in a timely manner (so that good news does not become old news).

FLI will be covering the attack on our American way of life, each right that is violated, each story that comes out because of it, and we will not stop--even in the name of National Security. My philosophy is that if you have to give up your American rights as the result of fighting terrorism, then America has become no better than the terrorists they fight.

I hope you guys will still stand with me, and with FLI as we fight the terrorists from with-in.

No Better than the Terrorists They Fight

This was originally written on September 19, 2001

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America is at a great crossroads today, and we are questioning the very things in life that make America what she is: Freedom.

For the last decade or so, Americans have swayed to and fro on the pendulum of freedom. Religious rights have been questioned and tossed out the door. A woman's right to choose has played tug-of-war with the rights of the unborn. Taxation without representation has been debated, protested, and argued, and rationalized. Free speech has been bogged down by hate crimes legislation. Freedom of assembly has demanded a permit for access. Right to Petition has been tossed in file 13. We've fought asset forfeitures, random searches, gun-control, finger-printing, traffic cameras, and many, many more violations of our Bill of Rights. And, now, we are fighting a war against terrorism that threatens every small victory that we, as Americans, have seen in our war against treason.

After the September 11th attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, Americans were asked a question that Benjamin Franklin gave the answer to over 200 years ago: Would you be willing to give up some of your freedom for the sake of National Security? The answer, in Ben's own words is, "He who would give up essential liberty in order to gain some temporary safety deserves neither liberty, nor safety." And, this writer is appalled that any true-blooded American would think otherwise.

Have we really lost our nerve? Have we really lost that much confidence in our ability to defend our freedom?

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and the American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) have been fighting their own war for the last decade or so. I have not supported the ACLU due to it's support of children's access to pornography in the name of free speech, and other such issues that I do not agree with. The ACLJ I have supported whole-heartedly, because--until today--they have for the most part read the Bill of Rights as it was originally intended, and because the founding fathers are revered by them as more than just "200-year-old dead men's ideas." As a staunch individualist, and a lover of history and the American way of life as it was originally envisioned, I have a problem with giving up any of the rights as written in the Constitution.

One of the most fundamental rights that Americans should hold dear is the right to privacy. Yes, I understand that the right to privacy is not listed in the first and second amendments of the Constitution. However, the only way the first and second amendment can and will work is if the right to privacy is envoked and guarded as much as any other right we may have. Privacy allows parents to raise their children as they see fit, not as the state deems worthy. Privacy allows couples to get married and have children, or cohabitate behind closed doors out of the eye of the public. What is no one else's business stays no one else's business. Privacy allows phone conversations to be intimate social conversations without feeling as if someone is watching you as you caress the one you love with words that are meant only for their ears. Privacy allows email to go only to the person you sent it to, not posted for all the world to see--especially when costly company secrets are involved. And, yet, today, we are rationalizating that privacy is not that important.

As my jaw drops onto the floor, I read a press release from the ACLU urging congress to follow a deliberative process as it considers new measures after terrorist attacks. We are now in a fight against an enemy that has targeted not only our lives and property, but also the fundamental values of freedom and equality that are the hallmarks of our democracy," said Anthony Romero, ACLU Executive Director. For the first time I found myself agreeing with the ACLU. "Terror, by its very nature, is intended not only to kill and destroy," Romero continued. "Terror is also designed to intimidate a people and force them to take actions that may not be in their long-term best interests. If we allow our freedoms to be undermined, the terrorists will have won."

What would the role of the ACLU be in all this? "Obviously there is a need for heightened security," said Laura W. Murphy, Director of the ACLU's Washington National Office. "The ACLU's goal is to monitor the proposals for increased law enforcement powers to ensure that they have maximum effectiveness with a minimal erosion of civil liberties." For once I have to support the ACLU.

But, then, there is the ACLJ, which I would much rather support due to their support and defense of my religious rights, among other rights that they have defended in the past, which the ACLU has not supported nor helped to defend. Furthermore, the ACLJ and ACLU have, more than once, found themselves on the opposite ends of the table inside court rooms across America. This time, unfortunately, is no different.

"The American Center for Law and Justice, an international public interest law firm, announced today it supports efforts by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft to upgrade laws that will help in the prevention and investigation of terrorism and is calling on Congress to move swiftly to adopt the proposals." said the press release. "There are certain areas of the law that are woefully inadequate when it comes to targeting terrorism," said Jay Sekulow, Chief Counsel of the ACLJ who is monitoring the legal and legislative efforts to battle terrorism. "This is clearly an area of national security and the Attorney General Ashcroft has identified a number of critical areas that must be addressed - and addressed quickly - if this nation is to mount an aggressive and effective campaign to eliminate terrorism. We support the Attorney General's efforts and urge Congress to move swiftly to equip the government with the tools they need to battle this ongoing threat."

Did I read this right? Adopt proposals that would erode my civil liberties in the name of security and safety? They are asking Congress to do this in a hurry and without much deliberation at all. And then, as if to fuel the battle between the ACLJ and the ACLU, Sekulow said it would be a mistake for the ACLU to attempt to derail or delay this effort. "The changes needed are sound and constitutional," said Sekulow. "In the wake of this national tragedy and in light of the very real ongoing terrorist threat, we need to move forward without delay to equip the government with the tools they need to do the job. These changes will safeguard our constitutional freedoms and our way of life - not threaten them."

To Jay Sekulow: NO change in our nation's laws that are repugnant to my individual freedom is Constitutional, or legal. There is no excuse for the erosion of civil liberties. None. And who are you to support the taking away of my Constitutional Rights?

Perhaps I am making people angry with this writing. I have stated in the past and will state again that FLI is about issues, not political parties or organizations. If the Feminazis support a law against abortion, then I would support them in that effort. If the Democrats support bills that will safe-guard our 2nd Amendment, I would support them in that. That is just plain sense. After all, it was the political parties and special interest groups that got us into all this mess to begin with.

By nature, I am a staunch individualist. Normally, I side witht he ACLJ. This time I side with the ACLU. I don't back anyone, but I support those who are fighting for my best interest, and in this case, my best interest is to leave me alone and let me be the good American I am and to let me be INNOCENT until proven guilty. They have no right to invade my privacy or entrap me when I am going about my day to day life. I refuse to back down on that.

As a matter of fact, that is what won me over to the freedom movement to begin with. I was angry at the state for throwing me in jail for my failure to play "spy on your neighbor", and right now, I see John Ashcroft pushing for "spy on your neighbor" legislation and steps that will erode my privacy as the good American I am. I cannot, nor will I trade my Bill of Rights for anything, and I am willing to die defending it.

Ashcroft, Congress: Consider that a promise, not a threat. Meaning: you come to my home to grab my guns in the name of the public safety, you will get shot. You attempt to use any of my information without a warrant that follows due process, you will be met with resistance. I am an American and will NOT be placed on the same plate as a terrorist in our fight against terrorism. My home is my little piece of God's earth. You violate my rights in any way, you had better kill me. I will not be the subject of your investigation without due process of law as stated in the Constitution, not as Congress makes it.

Congress should strive to avoid situations like last week's hurried Senate vote to expand wiretapping authority. That late night vote has led several Senate staff to call the ACLU, asking, "What did we just vote on?" To ask that question only proves the lack of thought that our government is taking about our Freedom. Reactionary measures serve no purpose but to endanger our way of life. We should be on the Offensive, not the Defensive in the war against terrorism!

I do not condone the attacks on the WTC. It was a deplorable, dispicable act of violence against my way of life. However, the acts of Congress do not fight terrorism abroad or at home. They are enacting terrorism against the American people in the name of fighting terrorists. I won't let them do it in the name of a war against terrorism, and I won't support the ACLJ doing it in the name of Jesus either. If I were to do so would be to allow them at any time in the future to entrap and incriminate me if they decide Bibles and religion should be legislated out to cut down on hate crimes. Same scenario, different issue. Same result.

I know the nation is scared right now. Freedom does not come freely, and at times it requires the sacrifice of individual lives in order to maintain the freedom that we have. If we allow our government to wrench away our fundamental rights in the name of fighting terrorists, America becomes no better than the terrorists we are fighting.

The Essence of Life

Originally written April 30, 2002 - by Shonda Ponder

Today, I realized what has been missing in my life for the past few years. I only feel the need to share this with others because my guess is that others have been missing it, too. It really isn't important unless you need an upbeat daily dose of attitude, or a slow dose of nostalgia accompanied by memories that you forgot you had. What is it I am talking about? What could possibly cause this overwhelming desire to share what I have found to be missing from my life?

Music.

Music is the essence of life. Whether you like Rock-n-roll, Country, or slow rock -- which is more commonly referred to by my significant other as "progressive elevator music". He likes the head-banging kind, which might explain the times when I think he's been hit on the head one too many times. Of course, that could also be due to my incessant desire to wallow in self-pity over all my failures. Which brings me back to the subject of music.

Today I turned on the radio after he went to work. After about five minutes of listening to "Redneck Girl" by the Bellamy Brothers, I found myself picturing my daddy's big green hunk of junk that I used to drive to the store when he was too tired to go buy his own pack of cigarettes. Of course, today that would be impossible with all the "spy on your neighbor" laws that require the store clerk to ask for your identity before purchasing such items. Didn't matter that I wasn't buying them for me, or that my dad sent me to the store to get them. (Not that I didn't purchase them for myself at an early age, anyway).

Then there was the modified, "Do you think Hank really did it this way?" (which I don't know who sings now, having been out of the music loop for so long. The name "Hank" has been replaced by "Waylon" -- probably because Waylon wrote the song. I remembered my daddy with his guitar, as he picked out a tune with Cousin Thurman and Uncle Adrian. I found myself turning the radio up to the tune of "You don't have to call me Darlin", trying to drown out the voices of my Daddy and Uncle Adrian in the memorized background.

I started to cry when I heard "Voices in wind" and thought of my step-momma Jeanie as she stood in the kitchen over a hot stove singing, "Oh Lord, won't you buy be a mercedes benz" and then turning on the 8-track player with "A good-hearted woman" when daddy would go out on Thursday nights to play in the local pool tournaments. Jeanie was like a sister to me. We used to share each other's clothes, and sit up until two or three in the morning watching The Nashville Network, even before they finally caught up on the bills enough to buy their first colored television. I was a senior in high school by the time that happened.

In the end, when my significant other returned home from work, I found myself turning off the radio and somehow feeling better having had the chance to enjoy something that has been missing for what seems like forever.

We sing our babies to sleep with it. We hum it while we work. Music is embedded in our hearts and minds with a fervor that follows us until the day we die. People who do not appreciate music are often seen as "non-cultured" and lacking in social talent. It can only be due to the fact that the sound of music communicates with the soul, and it should not be left out of a well-balanced life.

Music, indeed, is the essence of life.

Out of the mouths of babes

by Shonda Ponder
(originally written on July 29, 2001)

My 10-year-old was home-schooled until he was sent to live with his father last year due to some "financial hard times" that had come upon myself--making me fear for his safety and health. During the past year I have hoped, and prayed fervently, that he would not "unlearn" all I have tried to teach him, since he is now being sent to a public school (albeit in a small town), and not knowing how much importance his father would place on his growing mind.

For the last month or so, he has been returned to me for visitation (I have joint custody with his father), so I have had a chance to "feel him out" to make sure that he is doing "okay" and to check to see if there were any errors entered into his brain's programming that I needed to fix.

Upon having nice long conversations with him of an intellectual nature, I was relieved to know that his father was doing wonderfully at encouraging his intellect, despite the fact that he is no longer being home-schooled. I was bothered at one point because someone (not his father) had mentioned to him that he was much too young to think as intelligently as he thinks. I immediately told him that if God had not wished him to be as smart as he was, that He would not have given him the capacity to learn as much as he has learned. My son, thought about that for a moment, then said, "Okay. Good point."

During my visit with my son, it was made known to me that he wishes to grow up to be a scientist. His field of interest right now is "Spontaneous Human Combustion". He is reading every bit of material he can get his hands on about the subject. I immediately gave him access to my encyclopedias (and, I sent them home with him, when it was time, as well).
Our visit ended on Saturday, July 28th. So, we had to make a 400 mile trip to take him back home to his father so he could prepare him for the school year, which is to start in a couple of weeks.

I am always looking for ways in which to stimulate his thinking habits. Many times, I do this as a game, and he learns without even knowing that I am teaching him. His brain is like a computer--I learned this when he was barely old enough to communicate verbally. Everything he sees, hears, touches, and experiences is like software to him. So, having made this observation, I experimented with his mind, and taught him how to think. Every moment with him is spent "writing his programs". Every word that is spoken from him is a "test" of how well I have done my job. I have worked hard to create a success-bound character out of him.

And, as a result, today, the last words I spoke to him before returning him to his father were honestly, "Son, I am very proud of you."

On the long trip to return him to his father, I desparately tried to find ways not to think about being without him again. He is my pride and my joy. I teach him that he is special. I tell him that he doesn't have to be like everyone else when they do or say things that are not right. I teach him to ask questions in order to figure out how to create his own point of view. I have also taught him about God, and taught him (and showed him examples) of how, sometimes, man's laws differ.

Trying to soothe my breaking heart at having to let him go again, I decided to try to stimulate, and test his mind once again. This time, I wanted to do something different, and I wondered if he was up to the task.

Knowing that he wants to be a scientist, and wanting to introduce him, somehow, to the political nature of science, I said, "Son, do you know who our president is?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said. "George Bush."

"Well, President Bush right now is trying to decide whether or not to fund a certain type of scientific research. The people in the government right now are debating whether or not they should give scientists the money to continue doing stem-cell research." I said. "What do you think?"

He thought for a moment then asked, "What are stem-cells?"

I explained to him that they were the base components that all tissue in the human body is derived from. I told him that stem-cell research could theoretically help save lives in the future by providing new cells where old cells have been damaged or lost, such as in cancer.

Then he asked me, "What's wrong with that?"

I said, "Nothing. The debate is mainly over where they are getting the stem-cells from, and whether the government should support the research because of it." Which led to,

"Where do they get the stem-cells from?"

I had to answer this question carefully, because I did not want to influence his point of view in any way. So I answered it as best I could like this:

"Scientists can get stem-cells from humans, but not enough humans donate the amount of stem-cells needed for the research. Another alternative is to get them from a baby's umbilical cord, which is donated to science after the birth of a child. The umbilical cord is what attaches the baby to the mother while it is growing inside the mother's womb. But, again, not a lot of people think to donate the umbilical cords, either. So, scientists now are creating embryos in laboratories and getting the stem-cells from the embryos."
He thought about that for a moment then said, "What is an embryo?"

I explained to him that mothers have egg cells and fathers have sperm cells, and sometimes they donate these to science. When an egg and a sperm come together, it creates an embryo, which becomes a fetus, which becomes a baby, which becomes a child, and finally becomes an adult human being. I told him that some people believed that embryos were just a bunch of cells that are clumped together, and that it is okay to use embryos because it isn't alive.

"Does it grow?" he asked.

"Yes." I answered, restating that it becomes a fetus, etc.

"What do the scientists do with the embryos after they get the stem-cells?"

I explained to him that when all the stem-cells are taken from the embryo, that they discard the embryo.

"You mean, like, throw it away--because it won't grow?"

I said, "Yes."

"And, you are asking me if I think that the president should help the scientists by giving money to them so they can keep doing this?"

Again, I said, "Yes."

At this point, he surprised me by saying, "Can I think about this for a minute?"

I said, "Of course."

The conversation became quiet, and except for the hum of the car motor and the classic rock music faintly sounding on the radio speakers, I didn't pursue it for awhile, patiently anticipating his answer.

After what seemed like fifteen minutes he finally spoke up and said, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"You say that embryos grow to become fetuses, right?"

I said, "Yes. That is what I said."

"Okay, let me think some more..."

Again, all was quiet for what seemed like another fifteen minutes. At this point he spoke up and said, "Mom?"

Again, I said, "Yes?"

I heard him take in a deep breath, and then he said, "I've thought about it, and I think the answer should be no."

"No, what?"

"No, I don't think the scientist should be using the embryos like that."

Of course, my next question was, "Why do you think that?"

"Well," he explained, "You said that an embryo is just a bunch of cells, right? But, you also said that it grows, and that the embryo, if it were left to grow, would become a human being right?"

I said, "Yes."

"Then, the scientists are really, actually, killing baby human beings. And killing human beings is wrong, isn't it?"

The Christian part of me wanted to jump up and down and hug him and say, "YES!!!!!!"

The mother in me wanted to shout, "I am SOOOO proud of you!"

But, the teacher in me only smiled, relieved at the fact that should he ever be able to make his dream of one day becoming a scientist a reality, that he is completely capable of making moral and ethical decisions.

Dirty

by Shonda Ponder
(originally written in April, 2000)

I didn't want to feel dirty
As I came to God that day
For all I'd done to forsake Him
And go my merry way

I knew that I had been wrong
And that there was no hope
Except that He forgive me
And give me strength to cope

Every sin I'd sinned
Every law I'd broken
Out of selfish hypocrisy
I ignored the words He'd spoken

And now I felt alone
And now I felt betrayed
But who was I to blame?
By myself I knelt and prayed

O, Lord, can you forgive me?
Can you hold me once again?
And can you help those others
That I'd taken from your plan?

Can you bless and keep us,
and bring us all back home
And give us hope again
Where before this there was none?

Have I been so wrong
That you have let me fall
Will you grab my hand
And let me feel your call?

I am but human, Lord
I am weak and frail
But with you I have strength
Without you I have failed

Lord, I walked away
Knowing I was wrong
And now I beg forgiveness
I know where I belong

And as I sat there hoping
And wondering if I'd done right
I felt a warm familiar cover
A soft array of light

That said, "I have not left you
Nor have I let you down
It was you who chose
To give away your crown

I know that you are hurting
Lost and so afraid
And now I am here waiting
To hold the child I made

I did not forget you
Nor did I let you go
My love reached out to you
As I watched you grow

And now you ask forgiveness
You want to come back home
I have a feast here waiting
And we won't eat alone

I began to cry
As I ran into his arms
How can I make it up
To all those I have harmed?

He wiped away my tears
And broke my heart of stone
And then He said, "In time,
They too will come back home."

The American Dream - Defined

What IS the American Dream? I used to think it was a child's ambition to grow up, own a home, own a business, be a parent, and be able to bless our communities.

As I got older, I began to see the American Dream as nothing more than the "Pursuit of Happiness". Pursuit. Meaning: Always out of our reach, but yet having the opportunity reach.

The truth is, without the American Dream -- however you define it -- the average citizen would never find him/herself in a better situation than the day before.

Today, I live hand-to-mouth. But, I thank God it is in America, where I have a hand to put to my mouth.

In response to Rosie's "smear"

Killing babies has nothing to do with women's rights. I'm all for getting paid the same for doing the same job. I'm all for having the same opportunities. I'm all for not being seen or used as a sex object. Killing a baby is not going to make any of that happen.

If anything, all it does is make me look like a vicious killer.

Woe to He Who Says "Woe Is Me"

I think it's funny when someone describes me as "self-righteous" just because I post a different point of view on the comments section of someone else's post. After all, if they didn't want to hear people's opinions of what they post, why did they post it? And then, to top it off, they accuse ME of wanting attention? LOL

I post a lot of stuff I know other people may find offensive because it's ME. But, the only time I have ever used the block button or became really angry at someone on my own timeline is when they post pornographic stuff, or use name-calling and attacks against me because they don't like it.

I am a staunch conservative, and a Christian to boot. I expect "The World" to disagree with me. As a Patriotic American, I welcome that disagreement, as long as it is respectful. I won't put up with being called names or threatened for my beliefs on my timeline, and I don't do it on someone else's, but I will say what I think, because God didn't intend for His children to sit down and be quiet, only to stand firm and wait.

One of the things I can't stand is a whiner -- someone who constantly complains about the cards they are dealt in life. If you don't like where you are or what you have to put up with, change it. YOU DO have the power. And, if you can't, then ACCEPT it and understand that GOD KNOWS BEST. Period.

I can't stand people who use their past as a crutch in order to excuse the actions they do today. The past is GONE. There is no excuse for bad behavior. A former drug user who wants to whine about the crap he went through yesterday, or what he is going through today because of it needs to stop whining about and learn from the experience and instead of saying things like, "You don't understand what I've gone through..." start saying, "That's not who I am NOW and I can PROVE it."

Start whining about how you are because you used drugs, and I can tell you how I am and why I won't tolerate addicts anymore. Simple as that.

I don't feel sorry for anyone who wants to stay down and out because of decisions they made in the past. I made some pretty bad decisions myself, but my life is wonderful now; and, it's not because I got lucky.

If you want something bad enough, you have to be the change. Simple as that.

JMHO.

And, by the way, a FRIEND is one that tells you the truth; not someone who will enable your "woe is me" attitude.

Today's Prayer: Thanking God for My Salvation

Dear Lord,

I thank you for your son, whom you sent to die on the cross for my sins. I thank you that it has cleansed me and, each day, gives me a fresh start to do better. I know I can never obtain perfection, but I am thankful that You knew that first, and felt that I was worthy to make such a sacrifice for.

I understand that I am only righteous through Him who suffered for me, and I seek to live a life that glorifies You. I know I will still stumble at times, but I thank You that the nails that held Him to that tree are sufficient to hold Him to me.

I pray that the cleansing flow never stops in my life.

In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen

NO KING BUT KING JESUS

I've been seeing lots of posts for a new Constitutional Convention. While I agree that improvements are still in order for the old Constitution (we should go back to the beginning and start over with the foundation of the original Constitution), I am careful to promote this, because I've learned through experience to be careful what you ask for.

I've come to the conclusion that Man has no power to improve on anything. And, if you really want to improve this country, God should be brought back into it. If this were to happen, this country would be blessed like no other country on earth ever was and ever will be. But, the pride of men will bring us down.

I thank God that, as a Christian, I do not have to live under the law of any country that goes against His law. My home is not here, on this earth. And, if by not following the laws set before me by the government that is here, I am sent home, I would be grateful. THIS is temporary.

And, I will live thus.

NO KING BUT KING JESUS!

Bag of Money for Father's Day

I promised my step-dad some peanut butter fudge (made by me) for Father's day. He jokingly said, "Bring me a bag of dollar bills with that fudge."

So, I went to the store and bought some fake money. Then, I went by the liquor store to get a small paper sack.

It is late, and the store is about to close. I get to the counter and say, "Give me a small paper sack." The new guy behind the counter looks at me odd and gets a small paper sack. Then, to my surprise, he starts filling it up with money.

I asked him, "What are you doing?"

"Giving you a small paper sack."

"Yeah, but why are you filling it with money?"

"You might shoot me if I don't."

"I don't have a gun. I just wanted a small sack. Period. No money."

"Oh!!!!" He looked embarrassed. Then said, "You might better leave before the cops get here, then."

Sigh. The cops drove up right then. One of them came in after a few moments, with his gun drawn. The guy said, "It was a mistake. She just wanted a small paper sack. No money. I was here by myself. I was paranoid I guess."

I said, "NO DOUBT! I promise I wasn't trying to hold up a liquor store!"

The cop stopped for a few moments and then called the other guy in and told him what the cashier told him, and the other cop began to question me:

"You were just getting a paper sack?"

"Yes, sir."

"You had no intention of holding up the store?"

"No, sir."

"You don't have a weapon of any kind?"

"No, sir. I'm not even carrying a purse."

"What did you want the sack for?"

Oh, man. how was I gonna tell him I wanted to give my step-dad a bag of dollar bills for Father's Day?

(this IS NOT A TRUE STORY. I JUST THOUGHT WITH ALL THE CURRENT PARANOIA GOING AROUND, IT FIT. I started thinking, "what if..." LOL I thought I'd share... I read this to my step dad today to explain why he didn't get his bag of dollar bills. He totally enjoyed it!)

Facing the Devil

Have you ever had a day when you KNOW you did everything right, but yet you feel persecuted, attacked, stepped on, driven to your limitations? That's the kind of day I had yesterday. And, try as I could, I could not get rid of that sense of dread that overwhelmed me. It's the feeling that you have when you know you are going to have to go through more tribulation in your life as you try to gain a foot-hold again to stand on your own.

Guess I should have seen it all coming. I mean, things have been so good for so long, and now the devil is attacking with a vengence and I am about to fall. The thing is, even though I may fall, I won't be falling down this time. I will be falling into the arms of my Jesus. He's going to be all I have. If I fall, I will lose everything but Him. My dogs, my car, my home -- everything I have worked so hard to maintain.

I'm going to start looking for that open door right now. I am going to need it. Soon. My life is about to change. Again. But, whereever I end up, I know without a doubt it will be where Jesus puts me.

I am praising my God through this valley of darkness that has overwhelmed me. As it envelops me, I am looking at that candle that is sitting on top of that hill that I am climbing. I am praying that The Father reaches down and grabs hold of my hand and, on my knees, I am standing tall as I give it all to Him.

That sounds like a song in the making...

He's the only one who can handle this. I have done figured out that I don't know how.

Pray for me.

I praise Jesus, because I KNOW He has felt this way before. He understands what I am going through. HE understands why. And, HE knows it isn't any fault of my own.

I thought when I got rid of my ex, the abuse would never happen again...but today I feel so mentally abused. It is as though I am staring Satan right in the face -- again. But, I am not giving in. I am not giving up. I refuse to give Satan the satisfaction of winning a piece of my soul. He might take my bank account. He might take my job, my small victories, and my companionship, the pillow I lay my head on. But He is not going to take my soul or my heart for Jesus.

God, today, I depend on you with all I have. I am yours. It is up to you to make this a testimony that glorifies You. I need You today. I need you right now. Be my strength, my patience, my endurance, my hope. In Jesus' Holy Name I pray, Amen.

Good morning, World: I just need Jesus

Good morning, World!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. It is the day that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it! Each new day is a chance to start over, and with each door closed, God opens another.

Praying that God blesses my day with the abundance of life promised me by my Saviour Jesus Christ!

I don't need riches and I don't need gold, I just need Jesus, and me for Him to hold!

Have a blessed day, World!

Today's Prayer: Part of YOUR Will

Dear Lord, please help me to remember that just because others don't acknowledge me, YOU know the integrity and origin of my heart. And, though others may not like how I handle situations because it's not what they would do, YOU are One I should seek my validation from. Help me resist being "part of the crowd" and empower me to be a part of Your Will.

In Jesus' Holy Name I pray,
Amen

Today's Prayer: What have I accomplished?

Dear Lord, please help me to understand that my dependence on you is a blessing, and that my success and accomplishments in life are the by-product of that dependence. I am nothing without You, Lord. I know this from the deepest fibers of my being, (which YOU created).

Help me to be content with what I have, and what I am, so that every thing added to me is a bigger blessing that I will not with-hold from my service to YOU.

In Jesus' Holy Name, I pray, Amen.

With-holding nothing...

You should never take ANYTHING for granted, because God will take it from you when you do! There is NOTHING He can't with-hold from you if He feels it is in your best interest, or that it will bring you closer to HIM.

And, there is nothing I will with-hold from Him because of it!

Kinks and Swirls

I love it when people want to put their two cents worth in about my life and say, "If you'd do this, or if you wouldn't do that..."

It amuses me. I look at them as if they are aliens, because what they suggest for me is so out of my world. I can't help but smile when they tell me, "You can't get there from here..." because I am already closer to "there" than they are, or they think I am.

"Maybe you shouldn't (do this or that)" when what I am doing is working just fine for me. A few little "kinks" and "swirls" now and then, but even that seems to be working for me.

When they tell me "You can't" I just say,

"Watch me."

What at DAY!

WHAT a DAY! I go to work, and I am ALL prepared. Everything went SOOO smooth (even though I was an hour late getting off work). Got off work thinking, "God is SOOO good!"

Took my co-worker home, then went and picked up my friend Dallas to drive to church. Didn't even stop at home. Had to get to prayer service!

THEN, on the way, we stop at the stop sign. Look both ways. Go. My car shifts out of first gear with a big BUMP. Uh OH. 2nd Gear BUMP.

hmmmm. Transmission fluid low?

Get to church, open the hood, check it, the stick is dry. I call my step dad and ask him if he will help me out. I'm off work tomorrow. I don't have money for anything right now, until Thursday and I am not driving my car in this shape that long. I plan to drive the car home and let it sit until I can get Transmission fluid, but I don't feel comfortable even with that, and I need to get Dallas home, too.

Sister Kristie offered to drive Dallas and to follow me home if necessary. A couple of guys dug around in the back of his truck and found some Transmission fluid. I gave him one of my plastic bottles I use to carry tea in for a funnel. Everything is good. I call my step-dad and tell him never mind.

THEN, I get home and there is water all over the floor. I thought Milo must have peeed all over the house. But that was a LOT of water. Upon closer inspection I notice there is water dripping off my kitchen table. I look up at the ceiling...run out and get the apartment manager, who is NOT in a good mood!

She sees the problem and runs to get her plumber. They come back and unclog the air conditioner hose in the ceiling.

I am just now starting to relax after cleaning up the mess.

But, hey, God is STILL SOOO Good!

WHEW.

Being Single in a Couple's World as a Christian

This was posted at God Inspires on March 26, 2015

by Shonda Ponder

I sat there listening to Christian Talk Radio which hosted a question and answer show about daily life as a Christian. This last question about a woman who recently lost her husband and is considering dating again made me feel ... odd.

On the show, they made the statement that "This is a couples world, and although there are a lot of single people out there, the overwhelming desire of singles is to have someone to 'belong' to, i.e. the desire for marriage."

I am not desiring to "belong to" anyone but God and I certainly am not looking forward to ever getting married again at this point. Does that make me strange?

Sometimes I feel like Christian teachings try to PUSH marriage and dating on people by making them feel inadequate if they don't. It's just WRONG.

Paul was content being single.

THIS is why I cringe at the notion of going to singles ministries. They are all focused on how one should act in a dating relationship. They have FAILED to address those of us who are desiring to wait on GOD's Timing, and need to focus on being SINGLE and content about it. .

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:

6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

This is addressing those who are consumed by their desires, who have not mastered the ability to focus solely on God as their provider, their friend, and their endearing other half. Those who cannot contain themselves in the presence of the opposite sex SHOULD marry. But those who can are blessed in that they focus on the things of God and not on pleasing another human being:

33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

So where are the ministries that ENCOURAGE being single?

This article in Crosswalk.com makes my point about Christian Single's Ministries focusing on marriage. Although, ONE sentence in the article does make MY point:

"After all, every Christian’s first responsibility is to seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness "

This statement is over-ridden, however, in the rest of the article. I find this unfortunate:

How can I find out who God wants me to marry?

We need more articles that PRAISE being single, that PRAISE singles who are looking for their sustainability in a God who keeps their heart from loneliness and distraction from HIM.

When all else fails, call MOM

A co-worker asked me if I would give her a ride home, since the busses are not running due to the sleet. She offered me $10. I told her she didn't have to pay me THAT much. She insisted.

We got out to the parking lot, and lo and behold, my windows are froze over, my wipers won't work because they are frozen, and it took FOREVER for the heat to get warm. The defrost wasn't working with the sleet still coming down, down either.

She gets this bright idea to pour bottled water on the windshield. No, that didn't work either. So, we're sitting there...waiting..."At this rate," I thought, "it will be dark before I get home."

What do I do? I call mom.

"Mom, I'm stuck in Wadley Parking lot, there is ice on my windshield and I can't see out of it. It's on ALL my windows. And I don't have an ice scraper. And, my wipers are frozen."

What advice does mom give me?

"Use your badge."

DUH. Why didn't I think of that? We hang up and I get out of the car. My co-worker asks, "What did she say?"

"She said 'Use your badge.'"

"Will that work?"

"I'm fixing to try."

In less than 5 minutes, we are on the road. LOL

Moral of the story: When all else fails, call MOM.

Humbling Thanksgiving

When we become thankful for every breath we take, every bite we eat, and every step we take...when we praise God even when we feel He is far away because, somehow, we pushed Him there...when we hope in spite of all doubt and fear that threatens to overtake us, and when we refuse to deny His love, His power, and His Sovereignty, even after we have found it difficult to talk to Him...

He will reach down when you least expect it and touch you in such a way that you have no recourse but to fall on your face, humbled, overwhelmed, and overjoyed, giving Him the Praise that your heart has with-held, and having faith stronger than ever that He is who He is.

Thank you, Father.

Moral Support and Encouragement

I have become acutely aware that there are some people in this world who want nothing more than to see you fail, to stay down, to wallow in your filth. Those are people that I try to stay away from, because, if they can, they will do whatever they can to impede your progress.

The reason they are the way they are is that they do not like to be proven wrong. They have already made assumptions about you and your life, and in their tiny little brains, they have determined that that is the way it should be. When you prove them wrong, and rise above their expectations of you, it makes them feel ashamed and embarrassed.

Nobody likes that. So, don't be one of those people. Don't assume the worst in people. Don't be negative. The Bible teaches that we are supposed to raise people up and rejoice in their accomplishments as we keep pushing them forward. Moral support goes a long way in the Kingdom of God.

The Issue of Faith

The issue of faith is, Does God have integrity? -- Dr. Tony Evans.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord -- Joshua

God said it. I believe it. That settles it. -- Bumper sticker

If God says it, folks, it's truth. It will come to being. It will come to pass. Nothing can stop it. It's there. Period. So, to have "faith" in God is to believe that He is all-powerful, all-knowing, and can do anything. The Bible says that with God ALL things are possible. To doubt what God says is lack of faith. It is the same as calling God a liar. It is the same as saying He doesn't have all the information. It is just like telling God that He is weak and can't help you.

God is. God told Abraham "I AM". If this is true, and if God is who He says he is, and can do what He says He can do, it's a very dangerous game to have a lack of faith in Him.

I choose to believe that God is everything He says He is, and that makes Him everything to me.

Memories of a life lived: Legos

My son, Justin Williams, used to get legos for every Christmas and Birthday. He had a BIG plastic tub full of legos. I home schooled him, and when I would go to work, he was at home with his books and his toys to keep him occupied.

Justin was always pretty obedient, and it amazed me sometimes just HOW obedient he was.

One day, I went to work. When I came home, I could barely get into the door. Something was blocking it. I squeezed in..then, in awe I looked around. There, laid out on the living room floor was a gigantic lego city, complete with schools, gas stations, churches, banks, roads with little lego cars and people going down them...

It MUST have taken him ALL DAY build this...and I DIDN'T HAVE A CAMERA!!!!!!!

Oh my.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, and with tears in my eyes I said quietly: "Justin, son, I REALLY hate to tell you this...but you have to pick up your toys."

When I heard what came out of his mouth next, the tears started flowing. I had to leave the room so he wouldn't see me cry.

"Yes, ma'am." No argument. No pleading. Just a simple, "Yes, Ma'am."

If he had argued with me that day, he probably would have won.

It's okay to be angry at God...

God doesn't care if you are mad at Him, so long as you are still obedient.

Read about Jonah, if you want proof. He stayed mad at God, and what he did for God, he did grudgingly.

I guess Jonah's story would be like God telling us Patriots to go to the land of Islam and tell them that God loves them, and if they don't repent and change their ways and follow Him, they are going to be destroyed. Many of us would say, go ahead, God, destroy them! But, it isn't the Christian thing to do.

It isn't what God would have us do, like it or not. And, when they have murdered our sons and daughters and tortured our loved ones and profaned our animals and our property...and THEN decide to turn and change their ways because one of us went to preach the love and mercy of our God to them, how many of us would be SOOO angry that God didn't still destroy them?

Jonah stayed angry at God. Will you?

Memories of a Life Lived: My Sister

When I was a kid, Sunday mornings were the only mornings that my parents got to sleep late. They never went to church until my later teenage years when life had dealt our family a lot of lemons. But, they didn't stop me from going to church, so I got up, got dressed, and without waking them, walked the two blocks down the dirt road, and around the bend to Faith Community Baptist Church where Brother Land preached every Sunday and Wednesday. I looked forward to that time -- and, if I didn't show up, Brother Land would later call and check on me. I think that is how he found out I had my tonsils out when he came to the hospital to see me and bring me my first Bible.

This particular Sunday, my sister, Keysha K Smith wanted to go with me. She was only three years old. I was six years older than her, about nine. She put on her shorts and her sandals and I took her by the hand and walked with her to church. I showed her her sunday school room (which was the nursery) and we enjoyed church together after.

When I got home, my parents were up and upset. They had been frantic, looking for Keysha. She was only a baby. They did not scold me, however, for taking my sister to church with me. They did make sure that I understood that I was not to take her again without telling them.

I will never forget that day for as long as I live.

Today, my sister, like me, loves the Lord, and is striving to put God first and let Jesus take the wheel, in spite of her humanity and in effort to set an example for her own children. I am proud of her.

Luke 2:49
And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?

Life is a Journey...

Life is a journey. The person you spend the most time getting to know is yourself. Your comfort zones are what determines the limitations you put upon yourself. And, I have determined to stretch beyond my comfort zones as often as I can, with-in reason, in order to find the limitations God has put on me. So far, I have found that the limitations I put on myself are far inferior to the ones that God has put on me. This makes me even more daring and fearless.

It also makes me realize how much of myself I do not know, and how much of myself I've forgotten I was. It drives me to seek answers that I thought I had already found, and makes me wonder if I will ever find the me that is somewhere inside.

I think, after deep thought on this, that the closest I have come to being me is when I determine and practice contentment in who I am at this moment.

It is probably all I will ever really, truly, know -- whether I understand it or not.