Gizmo

This morning's events left me saddened all day, and deep in thought with survivor's guilt. My pet squirrel, Gizmo, died this morning, not due to negligence, or lack of trying, or lack of love, but due to ignorance, pure and simple. I just didn't know how to properly care for an unweaned baby squirrel.

While he was alive, he filled a void in my heart that needed to be needed. He came to depend on me and to see me as the loving nurturer I wanted to be. He would show his love by not wanting me out of his sight, and by trying to be as close to me as possible, even when I was holding him.

Now that he's gone, all day, I wondered, what's the point? Why would God put him in my life to take him away? What reason did He have for that? But, I know. I learned from Gizmo things that I didn't know before I met him. I learned what I did wrong. I learned much of what I did for him too late for him, but the next time a baby squirrel needs me, I'll be better prepared to care for him.

Gizmo, you did not die in vain. Because you lived, the next squirrel that comes into my life will have an even better fighting chance than you had. And, you had one. Because of you, the next squirrel may survive. I thank you for being a part of my life the brief time you were.

What to do now? What we are supposed to do when we fall down. Get back up, dust off my knees and try again. That's what God wants. That's what I intend to do. Otherwise, I let my Gizmo and my God down.

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