Numb

I am numb all over. I feel as if life itself has let me down. I gave all I could give, loved all I could love, prayed all I could pray, said all I could say, and nothing happened.

I feel as if I were addicted to a bad drug that isn't there anymore and I am suffering withdrawels. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

I'm not dead yet.

I'm losing weight rapidly, at about an inch every two weeks. I've lost two pant sizes in the last month and a half. When people ask how, I shrug and say, "I don't know."

Emotional Stress.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself anymore. Now I'm just trying to survive, and make sure that I don't get behind on anything else, and catch up on what I need to catch up on.

Surviving is not living.

Surviving is work.

I'm alone because I choose to be. God forbid I should let someone else cause me more pain and heart-ache.

God forbid I should cause any to anyone else.

But, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know that I'll ever let anyone else in, but I might reach out soon enough.

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