Pray for the Voters

Good morning, World.

I am late going to church today because there is not going to be any Sunday School. Broken Vessels is visiting our church today, and they will be recording their new album live! I'm looking forward to it. The last time they came, they said they loved our church because we "know how to clap". LOL

There is a news article from CNN about how Donald Trump broke the Fox debate rules by consulting with his campaign manager during the debate. It seems he broke other debates' rules the same way. If he will beak the rules now, what makes you think he isn't going to break the law once he is in office? Do we need another President that doesn't respect the law?

I have a friend in Kansas who said that if he could, he would have voted for Trump. He's progressive, and said he would register as a republican in order to do this. THIS is why we need to get out and vote. We have a fight on our hands. It seems that a lot of people in South Carolina are doing the same thing, hearing what some of my other friends say. This is voter fraud, and there is no way whatsoever to stop it.

So I am challenging all of you to do something: Tuesday is another big voting day in other states in the U.S. If you have already voted, please get on your knees and pray that day. Fast. Ask God to move to protect your candidate if it isn't Donald Trump.

Have a blessed day!

Beliefs and Politics

Good morning, World.

I wish some folks could see that it is religion, values, principles and ideology that give people the ambition to get the job you want done done.

When you elect someone, you are choosing the one who's belief system is matched to your own. 

Without a belief system what's the point?

If you take away people's core beliefs, then you take away their hope for the future, and they will throw up their hands and roll with the tide.

Being a good businessman does not translate in being a good diplomat or military general -- or commander-in-chief. How many jobs have you had that you quit? Was it because you couldn't do the job or because you disliked your boss? We can't fire Donald Trump before he pisses everyone off, and we can't quit him once he is there. Just remember that.

I feel sorry for this country because it is full of people who will believe anything anyone tells them without checking the source of the information for the truth. I'd rather be considered a troll in some circles and tell the truth than to know I mislead millions of Americans into believing a lie and electing someone who will ultimately destroy them. To me, that's treason.

Are you listening to the rags or the candidates that say it? Are you researching the courts to find the actual charges or are you hearing what others are saying the charges are? Are you believing what they will do based on what they say they will do, or are you believing what they will do based on the history of what they have already done that can be verified in the records? Are you thinking for yourself or repeating what somoene you admire thinks?

I'm praying you all have a blessed day, and remember who you are voting for.

About the The Welfare State

Why should anyone get an education to better themselves if the government is going to care for them? Add to that the cost of higher education and not only do you have the apathetic masses of people who think they have a right to be taken care of rather than doing for themselves, but you have a dumbed down society who will believe whatever the government tells them to believe....hence the reason Obama was elected twice.

Mirror of Life

God saved me at a young age because He knew it would take Him this long to teach me all He wanted me to learn.

He knew how stubborn I am, and He knew where I got it from...and that I was a piece of clay that was going to take a LOT of patience to mold.

He's still working on me...but man I love what I see when I look in the mirror today!

Isaiah 64:8
“But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.”

What I learned in 2015

As 2015 rolls to a close, I have begun to reflect on things that God has taught me this year. Each year it gets harder to pick out these things, as much of what I experience I already know -- I just seem to have to be taught again. LOL

I learned that Faith CAN move mountains. I started out the year trusting God to not only provide for me, but to make my situation better. I needed better opportunities, and the tools it required to accept and embrace them.

In February, I bought a car after not having one for several years. Not only did I buy a car on an already tight budget, but I was able to pay for it and the upkeep without having less than I already had. As the year wound down, I found myself with better phone, which allowed me to share more with my friends, and pay less to do it. The money saved was a blessing. I was also able to switch internet providers, which now allows for unlimited access, as well as less cost to me for having it. Another blessing. Finally, I was able to pay off a monthly bill that had been shadowing me for nearly two years. This blessing was the best. I went from hand-ups to being able to hand-out more in groceries. My insurance was lowered after several months. At work, I received a raise, and was able to work a lot of overtime. I received even more pay when I changed shifts. Today I even have money in my savings account. God is GREAT!

I learned that it is not my job to reap the harvest, but to plant the seed. I learned to invest and spend wisely.

I learned to prepare for the worst, yet hope for the best.

I learned that what I give, God gives back in abundance: emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually.

I learned that willingness is the first and most important step toward success and fulfillment.

I learned that contentment is the key to being trusted more.

I learned that people who judge you by what others think or say are tyrannical cowards who are not worth emulating or following. And, that if you find yourself on a path that is forged by them, it is best to remain slow and methodical in order to stay out of the ditch until a detour can be made.

I learned that sometimes your enemy is not your enemy, but a potential loyal friend, and an opportunity to be lifted up, as well as minister.

I learned that Family can sometimes be more unforgiving and cruel than other people in your life, but that they represent the first lessons of what forgiving others is all about.

And finally, I learned that it's when you don't feel the love that you need to show it. When you don't feel the want-to, God is still there, patiently waiting and watching what you are going to do, and expecting you to remain faithful in spite of your emotions. His grace is still sufficient.

My New Year's Resolutions for 2016

1. Try to write more.
2. Do everything in my power to help change the course of America.
3. Keep my house cleaner.
4. Make more money than I did last year, working less. (So I have more to give and I won't be to exhausted to do it).
5. Witness to more people.

That's enough. Right?

Commercials

I was thinking about the time I spend on the internet or watching Netflix lately, and the time I don't spend cleaning house. Then, I remembered something from my childhood.

My mother let me stay home alone at a young age. My stepdad's aunt and uncle lived next door. My stepdad's uncle worked with him so they would carpool to work each day. My stepdad's Aunt was a home-body. So, she kept an eye on us from next door.

She never came over, but if we were outside, she knew it. If I took a stroll in the woods behind the house (which was against the rules), mom would know about it when she got home. Or, if I rode my bike to my cousin's house two miles down the road, she'd know.

I didn't know she was watching. It wasn't until I was grown that my mom let me in on the secret. LOL. I guess it's a good thing (for her) that we never got hurt. I'm sure the secret would've been out sooner.

Anyway, as all children who are privileged to be home alone while mom was at work are, I had chores to do. My "chores" was to clean the house. That included washing dishes, cleaning my room, vacuuming and picking up the living room. Cleaning the bathrooms, making mom's bed, and washing, drying and putting away the laundry. And, occasionally, having supper ready when they got home -- or at least started.

While Mom and Benny worked, I enjoyed listing to all of her LPs and 45s. (For the younger generation: those were those giant CDs with grooves in them that we'd place on a turn table with a needle that made the "grooves" make sound...) -- oh, and the 8-track tape collection (forget it, there is no describing those, unless you know what a cassette tape is...). When I wasn't listening to music (and pretending to be a star) I was watching television. We only had three channels back then (3, 6, and 12 -- ABC, NBC and CBS). My favorite show came on at noon on channel 6, "Days of our Lives." written by McDonald Carey. "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives...." LOL.

I learned, after a few times of being chastised for not getting my chores done, that time management was a must. I had to allot myself time to clean the house. But, I didn't want to miss my soaps, or Gilligan's Island, or Good Times, or Leave it to Beaver later. I learned to welcome commercials.

Commercials would last anywhere from two to five minutes, at least every ten to fifteen minutes. That's 20 minutes of cleaning time for every hour I watched TV. That's about an hour and a half of cleaning time before mom came home. As clean as our house stayed, that was plenty of time to even do extra cleaning, like taking all the dishes out of the cabinets and organizing them every so often, and cleaning the walls...I actually did that.

Mom never thanked me. She refused to thank me for doing my job. "it's what you are supposed to do. I don't get thanks for what I do for you," she would say. But, one day, I was satisfied when my step-dad noted, "Shonda is really doing a great job cleaning lately, isn't she?" and Mom was forced to agree, without actually "thanking" me. LOL

So why do I find it so hard to clean house today? I think it's because Netflix and the internet has no commercials. (Not to mention, the challenge of being appreciated isn't there). I guess I'll have to start using a time clock.

It's an idea.

I never thought I'd ever see the day when I would say that I miss commercials.

Appreciating Healthcare Employees

As I clean bathrooms, waiting rooms, and patient rooms in the ER each day, I listen to the doctors and nurses all around me as they go about their business, caring for those who came there because they obviously could not care for themselves.

The hustle and bustle, tears, frustration, occasional laughter ... the overhead speakers calling for "Dr. Whoever" to pick up the phone, or meet someone in ER, along with faces and bodies running to and fro, updating each other about their patient's conditions so no misunderstandings in their care occur...It all reminds me of a heart-felt episode of M*A*S*H.

When they call for a clean-up job -- blood on the floor; someone puked; the bathroom stinks and needs attention; or the room is overdue for a terminal clean -- it's me that they call.

I don't mind. I stop whatever I am doing and I go do it. No one is going to get a contagious infection from their room not being clean enough on my watch. These Doctors and Nurses deserve to have the best environment for what they have to put up with, for what they accomplish, for the miracles they perform on a daily basis.

God bless our Healthcare Professionals.

They do a tough job...and they never complain.

They inspire me to do better every day.

On Friday, as I was cleaning the lobby in Day Surgery, the lady behind the desk asked me, "Excuse me, but do you have a son?"

"Yes, but neither of them live here."

I thought it was an odd question.

Then she told me about her recent trip through Nocona, TX, where she stopped to get gas and use the restroom.

My son has made my day from 400 miles away.

What a small world we live in.

Overcomer

Broken? No. I never considered myself broken. I shook my fist a lot at a world that was unfair and deceptive. But, something in me just kept saying that life is what you make it. And, it's gotta start somewhere. The buck stops here. And, so forth.

I made the Bible my guidebook, even when I wasn't following Jesus the way I should have been. I trusted that there was a God and that He knew better than I did...or even my parents did. I determined to have faith, even when I didn't believe.

I saw things with the eyes of someone of scrutiny. I kept my back to the wall, and never went into a crowded place without knowing where the door was. And, I watched. I treaded the waters lightly.

Every now and then I would jump in head first, determined to sink or swim. Sometimes I thought I would drown...other times, I found a rock to stand on. All the time, I overcame the current.

At first, I was angry. My anger started turning to bitterness. Then, I realized that the sunrise on every new day was majestic -- and that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. I had a choice to make.

Life is what it is. Sometimes you sink, sometimes you swim. But, sometimes, if you just float, you can take the time to enjoy the scenery, breathe easier, smell the fresh air.

I chose to be grateful in spite of not having all I want. I chose to accept what I was given, rather than covet what would never be mine. I chose to love, in spite of the pain; to laugh, in spite of the tears. to get up and move forward, rather than to lay there and move nowhere; to earn, rather than to demand; to show love, rather than indifference; to forgive, rather than to expect, and to experience, rather than to fear.

I look in the mirror today and I don't see a survivor, The fact that I am still there in the mirror looking back at myself tells me that the struggle was worth it, and I am an OVERCOMER.

What I've learned during my 46th year on this earth:

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October is the month of my birthday. At the end of this month, I will be a whopping 47 years old.

Every year I try to write down what I have learned through-out the year, whether I share it with others or not.

This year is no different.

Below is a list of the top 10 things I've learned this year:

1. God is more dependable than family or friends.

2. If you only give what you have, you will only get what you need.

3. Faith is the most powerful muscle in your soul.

4. I am still human.

5. God loves me and wants to use me in spite of my humanity.

6. Attitude has a lot to do with the availability of opportunity.

7. Sometimes you have to burn a bridge in order to stay faced in the right direction.

8. Sometimes you gotta give the twine some slack in order to attract the fish.

9. God is the best provider there is.

10. You can't climb the ladder of success by knocking the rungs out from under the person ahead of you.

Fighting the Terrorists from With-In

This was originally written on September 18, 2001





In light of the days events, I am very concerned with the way the news is portraying what has happened as some kind of attack that will only be prevented by Americans giving up their rights. I listened in as the FBI spoke of the "two types of terrorists' and how one of them thrives on panic with their web sites and serves to leak out information that will cause Americans to "distrust their government" etc...

It sounded like propaganda against sites like FLI, Sierra Times, WND etc. And, they were speaking of taking steps to stop "those type of terrorists".

I don't have to tell you guys that we are not terrorists. Nor should I have to explain that we don't put stuff on our site that can't be verified. I'm sure you saw the email floating around about the "interview" from the guy that supposedly got a call from an "un-named" government official who claimed that the government was involved in the attacks.

It sounded like a great story. It is newsworthy if it is true. Unfortunately, it's our word against the government without any hard evidence on the case. So, we will not be leading the nation into an uprising against the government because of it.

However, the fact that the government is negotiating ways to violate our individual rights for "Reasons of National Security" has me in an uproar. We should be asking questions such as "For how long?" and "When do we get our rights back?" and "With the sacrifice of individual freedom now, can we really say we are free?"

Our job as the alternative media is to get the public to ask those questions, while being sensible and calm in the face of the danger against our American way of life. We are not going to do this by yelling and screaming--and we are not going to do this by making threats. As media, we need all of our sources, even those within the government.

I still would like for my readers to focus on the news in your own communities as well, to report wrong-doings as always. (If it ain't Constitutional, it ain't right, even if it's done "For the Children") and to turn them in in a timely manner (so that good news does not become old news).

FLI will be covering the attack on our American way of life, each right that is violated, each story that comes out because of it, and we will not stop--even in the name of National Security. My philosophy is that if you have to give up your American rights as the result of fighting terrorism, then America has become no better than the terrorists they fight.

I hope you guys will still stand with me, and with FLI as we fight the terrorists from with-in.

No Better than the Terrorists They Fight

This was originally written on September 19, 2001

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America is at a great crossroads today, and we are questioning the very things in life that make America what she is: Freedom.

For the last decade or so, Americans have swayed to and fro on the pendulum of freedom. Religious rights have been questioned and tossed out the door. A woman's right to choose has played tug-of-war with the rights of the unborn. Taxation without representation has been debated, protested, and argued, and rationalized. Free speech has been bogged down by hate crimes legislation. Freedom of assembly has demanded a permit for access. Right to Petition has been tossed in file 13. We've fought asset forfeitures, random searches, gun-control, finger-printing, traffic cameras, and many, many more violations of our Bill of Rights. And, now, we are fighting a war against terrorism that threatens every small victory that we, as Americans, have seen in our war against treason.

After the September 11th attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, Americans were asked a question that Benjamin Franklin gave the answer to over 200 years ago: Would you be willing to give up some of your freedom for the sake of National Security? The answer, in Ben's own words is, "He who would give up essential liberty in order to gain some temporary safety deserves neither liberty, nor safety." And, this writer is appalled that any true-blooded American would think otherwise.

Have we really lost our nerve? Have we really lost that much confidence in our ability to defend our freedom?

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and the American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) have been fighting their own war for the last decade or so. I have not supported the ACLU due to it's support of children's access to pornography in the name of free speech, and other such issues that I do not agree with. The ACLJ I have supported whole-heartedly, because--until today--they have for the most part read the Bill of Rights as it was originally intended, and because the founding fathers are revered by them as more than just "200-year-old dead men's ideas." As a staunch individualist, and a lover of history and the American way of life as it was originally envisioned, I have a problem with giving up any of the rights as written in the Constitution.

One of the most fundamental rights that Americans should hold dear is the right to privacy. Yes, I understand that the right to privacy is not listed in the first and second amendments of the Constitution. However, the only way the first and second amendment can and will work is if the right to privacy is envoked and guarded as much as any other right we may have. Privacy allows parents to raise their children as they see fit, not as the state deems worthy. Privacy allows couples to get married and have children, or cohabitate behind closed doors out of the eye of the public. What is no one else's business stays no one else's business. Privacy allows phone conversations to be intimate social conversations without feeling as if someone is watching you as you caress the one you love with words that are meant only for their ears. Privacy allows email to go only to the person you sent it to, not posted for all the world to see--especially when costly company secrets are involved. And, yet, today, we are rationalizating that privacy is not that important.

As my jaw drops onto the floor, I read a press release from the ACLU urging congress to follow a deliberative process as it considers new measures after terrorist attacks. We are now in a fight against an enemy that has targeted not only our lives and property, but also the fundamental values of freedom and equality that are the hallmarks of our democracy," said Anthony Romero, ACLU Executive Director. For the first time I found myself agreeing with the ACLU. "Terror, by its very nature, is intended not only to kill and destroy," Romero continued. "Terror is also designed to intimidate a people and force them to take actions that may not be in their long-term best interests. If we allow our freedoms to be undermined, the terrorists will have won."

What would the role of the ACLU be in all this? "Obviously there is a need for heightened security," said Laura W. Murphy, Director of the ACLU's Washington National Office. "The ACLU's goal is to monitor the proposals for increased law enforcement powers to ensure that they have maximum effectiveness with a minimal erosion of civil liberties." For once I have to support the ACLU.

But, then, there is the ACLJ, which I would much rather support due to their support and defense of my religious rights, among other rights that they have defended in the past, which the ACLU has not supported nor helped to defend. Furthermore, the ACLJ and ACLU have, more than once, found themselves on the opposite ends of the table inside court rooms across America. This time, unfortunately, is no different.

"The American Center for Law and Justice, an international public interest law firm, announced today it supports efforts by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft to upgrade laws that will help in the prevention and investigation of terrorism and is calling on Congress to move swiftly to adopt the proposals." said the press release. "There are certain areas of the law that are woefully inadequate when it comes to targeting terrorism," said Jay Sekulow, Chief Counsel of the ACLJ who is monitoring the legal and legislative efforts to battle terrorism. "This is clearly an area of national security and the Attorney General Ashcroft has identified a number of critical areas that must be addressed - and addressed quickly - if this nation is to mount an aggressive and effective campaign to eliminate terrorism. We support the Attorney General's efforts and urge Congress to move swiftly to equip the government with the tools they need to battle this ongoing threat."

Did I read this right? Adopt proposals that would erode my civil liberties in the name of security and safety? They are asking Congress to do this in a hurry and without much deliberation at all. And then, as if to fuel the battle between the ACLJ and the ACLU, Sekulow said it would be a mistake for the ACLU to attempt to derail or delay this effort. "The changes needed are sound and constitutional," said Sekulow. "In the wake of this national tragedy and in light of the very real ongoing terrorist threat, we need to move forward without delay to equip the government with the tools they need to do the job. These changes will safeguard our constitutional freedoms and our way of life - not threaten them."

To Jay Sekulow: NO change in our nation's laws that are repugnant to my individual freedom is Constitutional, or legal. There is no excuse for the erosion of civil liberties. None. And who are you to support the taking away of my Constitutional Rights?

Perhaps I am making people angry with this writing. I have stated in the past and will state again that FLI is about issues, not political parties or organizations. If the Feminazis support a law against abortion, then I would support them in that effort. If the Democrats support bills that will safe-guard our 2nd Amendment, I would support them in that. That is just plain sense. After all, it was the political parties and special interest groups that got us into all this mess to begin with.

By nature, I am a staunch individualist. Normally, I side witht he ACLJ. This time I side with the ACLU. I don't back anyone, but I support those who are fighting for my best interest, and in this case, my best interest is to leave me alone and let me be the good American I am and to let me be INNOCENT until proven guilty. They have no right to invade my privacy or entrap me when I am going about my day to day life. I refuse to back down on that.

As a matter of fact, that is what won me over to the freedom movement to begin with. I was angry at the state for throwing me in jail for my failure to play "spy on your neighbor", and right now, I see John Ashcroft pushing for "spy on your neighbor" legislation and steps that will erode my privacy as the good American I am. I cannot, nor will I trade my Bill of Rights for anything, and I am willing to die defending it.

Ashcroft, Congress: Consider that a promise, not a threat. Meaning: you come to my home to grab my guns in the name of the public safety, you will get shot. You attempt to use any of my information without a warrant that follows due process, you will be met with resistance. I am an American and will NOT be placed on the same plate as a terrorist in our fight against terrorism. My home is my little piece of God's earth. You violate my rights in any way, you had better kill me. I will not be the subject of your investigation without due process of law as stated in the Constitution, not as Congress makes it.

Congress should strive to avoid situations like last week's hurried Senate vote to expand wiretapping authority. That late night vote has led several Senate staff to call the ACLU, asking, "What did we just vote on?" To ask that question only proves the lack of thought that our government is taking about our Freedom. Reactionary measures serve no purpose but to endanger our way of life. We should be on the Offensive, not the Defensive in the war against terrorism!

I do not condone the attacks on the WTC. It was a deplorable, dispicable act of violence against my way of life. However, the acts of Congress do not fight terrorism abroad or at home. They are enacting terrorism against the American people in the name of fighting terrorists. I won't let them do it in the name of a war against terrorism, and I won't support the ACLJ doing it in the name of Jesus either. If I were to do so would be to allow them at any time in the future to entrap and incriminate me if they decide Bibles and religion should be legislated out to cut down on hate crimes. Same scenario, different issue. Same result.

I know the nation is scared right now. Freedom does not come freely, and at times it requires the sacrifice of individual lives in order to maintain the freedom that we have. If we allow our government to wrench away our fundamental rights in the name of fighting terrorists, America becomes no better than the terrorists we are fighting.

The Essence of Life

Originally written April 30, 2002 - by Shonda Ponder

Today, I realized what has been missing in my life for the past few years. I only feel the need to share this with others because my guess is that others have been missing it, too. It really isn't important unless you need an upbeat daily dose of attitude, or a slow dose of nostalgia accompanied by memories that you forgot you had. What is it I am talking about? What could possibly cause this overwhelming desire to share what I have found to be missing from my life?

Music.

Music is the essence of life. Whether you like Rock-n-roll, Country, or slow rock -- which is more commonly referred to by my significant other as "progressive elevator music". He likes the head-banging kind, which might explain the times when I think he's been hit on the head one too many times. Of course, that could also be due to my incessant desire to wallow in self-pity over all my failures. Which brings me back to the subject of music.

Today I turned on the radio after he went to work. After about five minutes of listening to "Redneck Girl" by the Bellamy Brothers, I found myself picturing my daddy's big green hunk of junk that I used to drive to the store when he was too tired to go buy his own pack of cigarettes. Of course, today that would be impossible with all the "spy on your neighbor" laws that require the store clerk to ask for your identity before purchasing such items. Didn't matter that I wasn't buying them for me, or that my dad sent me to the store to get them. (Not that I didn't purchase them for myself at an early age, anyway).

Then there was the modified, "Do you think Hank really did it this way?" (which I don't know who sings now, having been out of the music loop for so long. The name "Hank" has been replaced by "Waylon" -- probably because Waylon wrote the song. I remembered my daddy with his guitar, as he picked out a tune with Cousin Thurman and Uncle Adrian. I found myself turning the radio up to the tune of "You don't have to call me Darlin", trying to drown out the voices of my Daddy and Uncle Adrian in the memorized background.

I started to cry when I heard "Voices in wind" and thought of my step-momma Jeanie as she stood in the kitchen over a hot stove singing, "Oh Lord, won't you buy be a mercedes benz" and then turning on the 8-track player with "A good-hearted woman" when daddy would go out on Thursday nights to play in the local pool tournaments. Jeanie was like a sister to me. We used to share each other's clothes, and sit up until two or three in the morning watching The Nashville Network, even before they finally caught up on the bills enough to buy their first colored television. I was a senior in high school by the time that happened.

In the end, when my significant other returned home from work, I found myself turning off the radio and somehow feeling better having had the chance to enjoy something that has been missing for what seems like forever.

We sing our babies to sleep with it. We hum it while we work. Music is embedded in our hearts and minds with a fervor that follows us until the day we die. People who do not appreciate music are often seen as "non-cultured" and lacking in social talent. It can only be due to the fact that the sound of music communicates with the soul, and it should not be left out of a well-balanced life.

Music, indeed, is the essence of life.

Out of the mouths of babes

by Shonda Ponder
(originally written on July 29, 2001)

My 10-year-old was home-schooled until he was sent to live with his father last year due to some "financial hard times" that had come upon myself--making me fear for his safety and health. During the past year I have hoped, and prayed fervently, that he would not "unlearn" all I have tried to teach him, since he is now being sent to a public school (albeit in a small town), and not knowing how much importance his father would place on his growing mind.

For the last month or so, he has been returned to me for visitation (I have joint custody with his father), so I have had a chance to "feel him out" to make sure that he is doing "okay" and to check to see if there were any errors entered into his brain's programming that I needed to fix.

Upon having nice long conversations with him of an intellectual nature, I was relieved to know that his father was doing wonderfully at encouraging his intellect, despite the fact that he is no longer being home-schooled. I was bothered at one point because someone (not his father) had mentioned to him that he was much too young to think as intelligently as he thinks. I immediately told him that if God had not wished him to be as smart as he was, that He would not have given him the capacity to learn as much as he has learned. My son, thought about that for a moment, then said, "Okay. Good point."

During my visit with my son, it was made known to me that he wishes to grow up to be a scientist. His field of interest right now is "Spontaneous Human Combustion". He is reading every bit of material he can get his hands on about the subject. I immediately gave him access to my encyclopedias (and, I sent them home with him, when it was time, as well).
Our visit ended on Saturday, July 28th. So, we had to make a 400 mile trip to take him back home to his father so he could prepare him for the school year, which is to start in a couple of weeks.

I am always looking for ways in which to stimulate his thinking habits. Many times, I do this as a game, and he learns without even knowing that I am teaching him. His brain is like a computer--I learned this when he was barely old enough to communicate verbally. Everything he sees, hears, touches, and experiences is like software to him. So, having made this observation, I experimented with his mind, and taught him how to think. Every moment with him is spent "writing his programs". Every word that is spoken from him is a "test" of how well I have done my job. I have worked hard to create a success-bound character out of him.

And, as a result, today, the last words I spoke to him before returning him to his father were honestly, "Son, I am very proud of you."

On the long trip to return him to his father, I desparately tried to find ways not to think about being without him again. He is my pride and my joy. I teach him that he is special. I tell him that he doesn't have to be like everyone else when they do or say things that are not right. I teach him to ask questions in order to figure out how to create his own point of view. I have also taught him about God, and taught him (and showed him examples) of how, sometimes, man's laws differ.

Trying to soothe my breaking heart at having to let him go again, I decided to try to stimulate, and test his mind once again. This time, I wanted to do something different, and I wondered if he was up to the task.

Knowing that he wants to be a scientist, and wanting to introduce him, somehow, to the political nature of science, I said, "Son, do you know who our president is?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said. "George Bush."

"Well, President Bush right now is trying to decide whether or not to fund a certain type of scientific research. The people in the government right now are debating whether or not they should give scientists the money to continue doing stem-cell research." I said. "What do you think?"

He thought for a moment then asked, "What are stem-cells?"

I explained to him that they were the base components that all tissue in the human body is derived from. I told him that stem-cell research could theoretically help save lives in the future by providing new cells where old cells have been damaged or lost, such as in cancer.

Then he asked me, "What's wrong with that?"

I said, "Nothing. The debate is mainly over where they are getting the stem-cells from, and whether the government should support the research because of it." Which led to,

"Where do they get the stem-cells from?"

I had to answer this question carefully, because I did not want to influence his point of view in any way. So I answered it as best I could like this:

"Scientists can get stem-cells from humans, but not enough humans donate the amount of stem-cells needed for the research. Another alternative is to get them from a baby's umbilical cord, which is donated to science after the birth of a child. The umbilical cord is what attaches the baby to the mother while it is growing inside the mother's womb. But, again, not a lot of people think to donate the umbilical cords, either. So, scientists now are creating embryos in laboratories and getting the stem-cells from the embryos."
He thought about that for a moment then said, "What is an embryo?"

I explained to him that mothers have egg cells and fathers have sperm cells, and sometimes they donate these to science. When an egg and a sperm come together, it creates an embryo, which becomes a fetus, which becomes a baby, which becomes a child, and finally becomes an adult human being. I told him that some people believed that embryos were just a bunch of cells that are clumped together, and that it is okay to use embryos because it isn't alive.

"Does it grow?" he asked.

"Yes." I answered, restating that it becomes a fetus, etc.

"What do the scientists do with the embryos after they get the stem-cells?"

I explained to him that when all the stem-cells are taken from the embryo, that they discard the embryo.

"You mean, like, throw it away--because it won't grow?"

I said, "Yes."

"And, you are asking me if I think that the president should help the scientists by giving money to them so they can keep doing this?"

Again, I said, "Yes."

At this point, he surprised me by saying, "Can I think about this for a minute?"

I said, "Of course."

The conversation became quiet, and except for the hum of the car motor and the classic rock music faintly sounding on the radio speakers, I didn't pursue it for awhile, patiently anticipating his answer.

After what seemed like fifteen minutes he finally spoke up and said, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"You say that embryos grow to become fetuses, right?"

I said, "Yes. That is what I said."

"Okay, let me think some more..."

Again, all was quiet for what seemed like another fifteen minutes. At this point he spoke up and said, "Mom?"

Again, I said, "Yes?"

I heard him take in a deep breath, and then he said, "I've thought about it, and I think the answer should be no."

"No, what?"

"No, I don't think the scientist should be using the embryos like that."

Of course, my next question was, "Why do you think that?"

"Well," he explained, "You said that an embryo is just a bunch of cells, right? But, you also said that it grows, and that the embryo, if it were left to grow, would become a human being right?"

I said, "Yes."

"Then, the scientists are really, actually, killing baby human beings. And killing human beings is wrong, isn't it?"

The Christian part of me wanted to jump up and down and hug him and say, "YES!!!!!!"

The mother in me wanted to shout, "I am SOOOO proud of you!"

But, the teacher in me only smiled, relieved at the fact that should he ever be able to make his dream of one day becoming a scientist a reality, that he is completely capable of making moral and ethical decisions.

Dirty

by Shonda Ponder
(originally written in April, 2000)

I didn't want to feel dirty
As I came to God that day
For all I'd done to forsake Him
And go my merry way

I knew that I had been wrong
And that there was no hope
Except that He forgive me
And give me strength to cope

Every sin I'd sinned
Every law I'd broken
Out of selfish hypocrisy
I ignored the words He'd spoken

And now I felt alone
And now I felt betrayed
But who was I to blame?
By myself I knelt and prayed

O, Lord, can you forgive me?
Can you hold me once again?
And can you help those others
That I'd taken from your plan?

Can you bless and keep us,
and bring us all back home
And give us hope again
Where before this there was none?

Have I been so wrong
That you have let me fall
Will you grab my hand
And let me feel your call?

I am but human, Lord
I am weak and frail
But with you I have strength
Without you I have failed

Lord, I walked away
Knowing I was wrong
And now I beg forgiveness
I know where I belong

And as I sat there hoping
And wondering if I'd done right
I felt a warm familiar cover
A soft array of light

That said, "I have not left you
Nor have I let you down
It was you who chose
To give away your crown

I know that you are hurting
Lost and so afraid
And now I am here waiting
To hold the child I made

I did not forget you
Nor did I let you go
My love reached out to you
As I watched you grow

And now you ask forgiveness
You want to come back home
I have a feast here waiting
And we won't eat alone

I began to cry
As I ran into his arms
How can I make it up
To all those I have harmed?

He wiped away my tears
And broke my heart of stone
And then He said, "In time,
They too will come back home."

The American Dream - Defined

What IS the American Dream? I used to think it was a child's ambition to grow up, own a home, own a business, be a parent, and be able to bless our communities.

As I got older, I began to see the American Dream as nothing more than the "Pursuit of Happiness". Pursuit. Meaning: Always out of our reach, but yet having the opportunity reach.

The truth is, without the American Dream -- however you define it -- the average citizen would never find him/herself in a better situation than the day before.

Today, I live hand-to-mouth. But, I thank God it is in America, where I have a hand to put to my mouth.

In response to Rosie's "smear"

Killing babies has nothing to do with women's rights. I'm all for getting paid the same for doing the same job. I'm all for having the same opportunities. I'm all for not being seen or used as a sex object. Killing a baby is not going to make any of that happen.

If anything, all it does is make me look like a vicious killer.

Woe to He Who Says "Woe Is Me"

I think it's funny when someone describes me as "self-righteous" just because I post a different point of view on the comments section of someone else's post. After all, if they didn't want to hear people's opinions of what they post, why did they post it? And then, to top it off, they accuse ME of wanting attention? LOL

I post a lot of stuff I know other people may find offensive because it's ME. But, the only time I have ever used the block button or became really angry at someone on my own timeline is when they post pornographic stuff, or use name-calling and attacks against me because they don't like it.

I am a staunch conservative, and a Christian to boot. I expect "The World" to disagree with me. As a Patriotic American, I welcome that disagreement, as long as it is respectful. I won't put up with being called names or threatened for my beliefs on my timeline, and I don't do it on someone else's, but I will say what I think, because God didn't intend for His children to sit down and be quiet, only to stand firm and wait.

One of the things I can't stand is a whiner -- someone who constantly complains about the cards they are dealt in life. If you don't like where you are or what you have to put up with, change it. YOU DO have the power. And, if you can't, then ACCEPT it and understand that GOD KNOWS BEST. Period.

I can't stand people who use their past as a crutch in order to excuse the actions they do today. The past is GONE. There is no excuse for bad behavior. A former drug user who wants to whine about the crap he went through yesterday, or what he is going through today because of it needs to stop whining about and learn from the experience and instead of saying things like, "You don't understand what I've gone through..." start saying, "That's not who I am NOW and I can PROVE it."

Start whining about how you are because you used drugs, and I can tell you how I am and why I won't tolerate addicts anymore. Simple as that.

I don't feel sorry for anyone who wants to stay down and out because of decisions they made in the past. I made some pretty bad decisions myself, but my life is wonderful now; and, it's not because I got lucky.

If you want something bad enough, you have to be the change. Simple as that.

JMHO.

And, by the way, a FRIEND is one that tells you the truth; not someone who will enable your "woe is me" attitude.

Today's Prayer: Thanking God for My Salvation

Dear Lord,

I thank you for your son, whom you sent to die on the cross for my sins. I thank you that it has cleansed me and, each day, gives me a fresh start to do better. I know I can never obtain perfection, but I am thankful that You knew that first, and felt that I was worthy to make such a sacrifice for.

I understand that I am only righteous through Him who suffered for me, and I seek to live a life that glorifies You. I know I will still stumble at times, but I thank You that the nails that held Him to that tree are sufficient to hold Him to me.

I pray that the cleansing flow never stops in my life.

In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen